


listen, the distance between us, could've took a while

by rainbowrabblerouser



Series: written because I'm lonely, melancholic, gay, yearning, aching, and pining and– [13]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Character Study, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Holding Hands, Introspection, Jared Kleinman Centric, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Making Out, Picnics, Pining Jared Kleinman, Sharing Clothes, Teen Angst, Underage Drinking, Yearning and Pining and Aching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24246427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowrabblerouser/pseuds/rainbowrabblerouser
Summary: Jared spends a lot of time yearning and pining and aching and sighing and lamenting and longing and craving and it sucks that he's in love with Evan.Evan makes a move.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman
Series: written because I'm lonely, melancholic, gay, yearning, aching, and pining and– [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712041
Comments: 1
Kudos: 64





	listen, the distance between us, could've took a while

**Author's Note:**

> "Longshot" - Catfish and the Bottlemen

Days with Evan are the most fun Jared has ever had. But he can’t help but feel an overwhelming rush of dread every time he has to watch Evan leave. The second after Evan’s smiles drop or his laughter ends. Like Jared can see the end as it begins. Because nothing ever worked out for him.

He’s probably just being stupid. A foolish, lovesick gay kid who was too repressed for his own good. It’s fucking pitiful, is what he thinks it is. Since Jared had been crushing on his childhood friend since he doesn’t know when and he had yearned every second he was awake, he prepared himself for the impending doom that was his heartbreak.

It’s not like Jared had never been rejected before. He had been rejected by tons of boys at camp and even the ones at that coding class he had taken that one summer. But he knew that for every rejection, there was a sliver of hope that was taken away from him as if it was his toll for having feelings. Because fuck him for caring about other people a little too much. And this hope so sad that he had accumulated a conglomerate of whatever wishful, miserably positive thoughts he had about whatever the hell you would call his thing with Evan was. 

_ Are we best friends? Are we something in between that? _

Whatever they were, Evan would never acknowledge again. Because when Jared corrected that they were family friends and nothing more, he had resigned like he always did, giving up on whatever thought he had because of someone else.

God, Jared hated how pushy he could be. But then again, he could be a fucking coward more often than not. Especially when it came to Evan. He was the only person who could do that to him. Maybe it was because Jared was in love with him? Or maybe he was just lonely and needed the feeling of wanting someone to satisfy him temporarily. How fucking sad is that?

“Jared, you’re uncharacteristically quiet. Something wrong?” Evan said in the softest voice ever. Fuck, Jared hates how much he loves that. 

He snaps out of it and turns to Evan, who is looking at him with the most pleading eyes and a small worried smile. Jared felt himself blush and he wished he could just pause the world and not have to explain that he was thinking a lot about how lonely he felt and how much he had pined over Evan. Instead, he opts for his default: a joke.

“It’s just that if there  were two guys on the  moon and one of them killed the other with  a rock would that be fucked up or what?” 

Evan laughs and Jared feels that twinge of dread when there’s a rush of warmth in his chest after he sees Evan do that thing where he closes his eyes as he laughs hard. Jared cursed to himself as Evan’s laughter echoed throughout the empty house. It was just the two of them since his parents had gone on our of their “calm down trips” – which was a euphemism for them going to two different places and cheating on each other since they refused to divorce until Jared was well into college.

Of course, Jared took advantage of the small step up from his usually empty house to have Evan over for the rest of the week. Heidi was delighted to learn that Evan had a friend who wanted him over all the time. If only she knew why. 

Jared offered to bust out the fancy drinks his parents had ready for after their fights and to his surprise, Evan had taken the offer. Apparently, it had been a “rough week” for Evan despite it being only Tuesday. So they get drunk as fuck and end up playing dumb games with each other.

“Do you think that we can trick Alana into thinking that we’re dating?” Evan jokes, then he does an adorable little hiccup that Jared can’t help but notice.

“I mean, she probably already thinks we are….Ev, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you were prepositioning me for a long-winded game of extreme gay chicken!”

Evan blushed so quickly and Jared cackled as he was rendered speechless.

“You son of a bitch, I’m in!”

When he wakes up, Jared realizes that he had somehow managed to stumble onto his bed despite his insobriety and there was a weight on him. He felt around without opening his eyes and he realized that it was Evan who was wrapped around him.

Evan had fallen asleep with his face buried in Jared’s neck and he was still snoring softly. From the fact that their clothes were still on, Jared could infer that he and Evan in fact did not fuck last night. He sighed in relief, knowing that he would have hated their first time to have been while they were drunk off their asses. Jared was a romantic. He yearned for things that he could remember. Pleasure was temporary; romance was perpetual. 

Jared glanced at the clock and felt a rush of panic. They were gonna be late for school!

Fuck. And he was hungover.

As he shifted on the bed, he felt Evan move a little and then heard him mutter, “Jare?”

“Ev, we are gonna be late for school!”

“There is no school today. It’s a teacher planning day. Remember? We’re on spring break now, Jared,” Evan said with a yawn at the end. Jared hated how cute he found sleepy Evan. 

“Oh,” he whispered. “Do you want to get up and eat something?”

Evan didn’t move. Instead, he held Jared a little tighter. 

“Just a little while more, Jared.”

And he drifted back to sleep. Jared was left dumbfounded as he stayed right there, going on his phone until Evan woke up about an hour later. 

They get ready to go out and Jared lends Evan some clothes of his. 

Evan puts on one of Jared’s graphic tees, a Star Wars shirt, and some skinny jeans. Then, he puts on one of Jared’s Hawaiian shirts over. He looked like he was cosplaying as him. The shirts hung off him a bit since Jared wore loose tops.

“Hehe, look at me, I’m the insanely cool Jared Kleinman!” Evan did his best impression of Jared’s drawl. He reached over and took Jared’s glasses from the bridge of his nose and laughed as he put them on. 

Evan continued, “I’m sarcastic, but I’m actually a really big softie and I’m snarky and playfully mean with Evan, but I really do love him! I need car insura–”

Jared did a slow clap and said, “Haha, very funny, Ev.” Then, he took his glasses back. 

“I got it spot-on, right?” Evan looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“Yes, you did, Ev. Did you watch Natalie Portman’s Masterclass?” Jared straightened out Evan’s collar and then rested his hand on his shoulder. “Now, let’s go enjoy our day off. I got nothing better to do and I just got my check from a coding job I just did. So you get to be the girlfriend I take out today.”

Evan smiled and his face heated up a little. “Where are you taking me?”

“Wherever you want.”

Of course, Evan convinces Jared to bring him to the park so that they could have a picnic. Jared made him promise that they’d go to the new VR game room/laser tag place in the mall next time since Evan would make him have to be exposed to the great outdoors for longer than 15 minutes. 

They pick up McDonald’s and eat at a pavilion by a lake in the park. There are cute little ducks and wonderfully tall trees that Evan claimed he could climb if he was allowed to. His arm had healed already, but his doctor told him no climbing for a long time. Jared said that he wouldn’t have let him even if he could. 

“I don’t want to have to catch you if you fall, Ev. I’m not built for rescuing damsels in distress.”

Evan giggled at that and then went on and on about how many different trees were in the area despite the size of the roots taking up so much space. 

The two of them sat on a picnic blanket and enjoyed their time alone together. Jared listened as he ate his McFlurry, focused on the sound of Evan’s voice and the quirk of his lips when he pronounced the Latin names of every tree. The way his eyes lit up as he explained.

“And that species used to be endangered, but now it’s not and– wait, why are you looking at me like that? I’m sorry. Am I boring you? I didn’t mean to–” Evan started rambling and running his hands through his hair. 

Jared reached out and took Evan’s hands and held them. 

“No. You don’t bore me at all. I just...got a little lost there for a second.”

Evan looked down at their hands and then back at him. “At which part?”

“I, uh, actually got lost in your eyes, Ev,” Jared muttered, looking down as he flushed red. His heart was racing, skipping beats, and he could tell that if he kept this up, he’d probably feel like he was going to burst. 

“Really? Jared, are you joking again?”

Jared gulped and felt so silly for being nervous around Evan. This was Evan. His best friend. His only friend. Evan would listen to him even when he was being annoying or petty. He could tell him anything. And he would touch him even though Evan never liked touching anyone. Jared was a rare exception.

“No, I’m not joking,” Jared whispered as he met his gaze.

Evan let go of one of his hands and reached out to caress Jared’s face. He scooted forward and leaned into his space. Jared’s breath hitched as he felt himself heat up some more. This couldn’t be real.

There he was: on a picnic date with Evan. His Evan, who was wearing his clothes and had woken up in his bed. He felt his heart beating so fast he could hear it. 

Then, Evan is so close to him that their lips are almost touching. 

“Good.” Evan whispers and then pulls Jared in for a kiss.

It’s soft. Softer than Jared had imagined. For some reason, he always pictured them kissing roughly, desperately, probably Evan shoving his tongue down his throat as he pushes him against the wall. But the sweet, tender kiss during a picnic was nice.

He doesn’t feel like he deserves it. 

“You deserve this, Jared.”

Fuck, had he said that when they pulled away for a second.

“I love you, Jare. I really do.”

Evan kisses him again but it’s deeper and now Jared’s on his back as Evan looms over him, kissing him harder and harder until he pulls away again. He kisses all over his neck and Jared can’t bite back his moan in time.

“Guess we don’t have to play gay chicken anymore?” Evan murmurs against his lips.

Jared chuckles as Evan presses their foreheads together and closes his eyes.

“Yeah, Ev. I guess we don’t….I love you.”

When they get back to Jared’s house, they get back in bed, but they do everything but fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @rainbowrabblerouser


End file.
